Days of the Dog Star

Mother Hekate, who calls Her hounds to follow Her, I come to You with sorrow and gratitude.

We are in the hottest days of the year, and this year is setting records in all the history of humans recording temperatures. The heat weighs heavily on us. 

I was born under the Dog Star. I have thought Sirius to be a companion my whole life. These days give me a mixture of excitement and dread.

I feel lost, and I look to You for guidance. When others hurt me, I look to You for healing...and for vengeance. I still have issues with knowing when vengeance is justice and when it is spite, but I also know that not being able to find that line has caused me to let abuse against myself continue too many times in my life. A line I cannot see...a boundary...a border... I look to You.

Sometimes, I cannot see Your light. I cannot feel Your comforting presence. Of course, I know there are many who can say Your presence is not always comforting! Even during the times You have been hard with me, though, I feel it as a necessary maternal discipline, and there is comfort. It is when I cannot feel You at all that I am afraid.

And still...

I know You are everywhere, and in everything. And I make offerings to You, and I give thanks that my doctor has said I will feel You as Einalia holding me again! And with the things that are happening with some of my work, I look to You for guidance with these things and know that these are Your blessings! I give offering to You first, before Hermes and Others, because You are honored first among the Immortal Ones! And while I may keep to my agreements with Others and will not betray them, Mother...it is You who I love!

The heat weighs heavily. I'm scared. I feel lost, even though I know You always know where I am and hold me, guiding me.

When they harm me, make them suffer.

When they wound me, make them bleed.

When they close their eyes, make them see the truth.