Virtual Hekatesion

Mother Hekate, I want to end today with gratitude.  I'm thankful for the time that I spend in prayer and meditation. I'm thankful for the new house. We're not there yet, but I've been thankful since we found it. I'm thankful for elephants. I'm thankful for my plant friends. I'm thankful for octopodes, humpback whales, manta rays, and sea turtles. I'm thankful for catfish. I'm thankful for koi. I'm thankful for rocks. I'm thankful for Ganesha. I'm thankful for all my years so far with You. I'm thankful for everything Hermes has done for us in these past six years. I'm thankful for the Lake Monster. I'm thankful for being thankful.

Thousands of offenses are committed by me day and night; considering me Your servant, O Supreme Goddess, forgive them all. I know not how to invoke You, nor how to bid You farewell, nor even how to worship You; forgive me, O Supreme Goddess. O Goddess of the gods, though my worship lacked mantra, rite, and devotion, may whatever I have offered be made complete. Even one who commits a hundred offenses, if they call out 'Mother of the Universe,' attains a state not reached even by Brahma and the gods. Full of faults, I have taken refuge in You, O Mother of the Universe; I am now worthy of compassion — do with me as You wish. Whatever I have done wrongly, too little or too much, through ignorance, forgetfulness, or delusion — forgive it all and be gracious, O Supreme Goddess. O Kameshvari, Mother of the World, embodiment of being-consciousness-bliss, accept this worship with love and be gracious, O Supreme Goddess. O guardian of the most secret of secrets, accept the prayer I have...

Khaire Mother Hekate!  Thank You for Your guidance, Mother. While I don't see things as just one pantheon of Shining Ones with different names in different cultures, I do believe some Shining Ones have multiple roles throughout the world. And You, Mother, are not generally limited by lines anyone draws. As I step with more awareness into my devotion to Ganesha, this has raised questions for me. Learning about Maa Durga and the Night Nights gives me more of a feeling for where I might find You in these stories. The arrival on a bull didn't not go unrecognized by me. I don't know where this is all going. I don't know where I'm being led, what I'm being trained for... But I trust You, and I trust Ganesha. And so I thank You.

Mother Hekate, I thank You and praise You! You have guided me again and again, including times when I was unaware. Even now, as scared and confused as I am, I trust that You are still guiding me.  We lost a member of our family today. The way she came to us was very special, and I thought she would be going home with us. I know my mind often assigns meaning to things as a way of trying to create a structure I can process. I also know I often understand things as they happen in ways that don't become clear to other people until much later. Part of me wonders if this family member bought our way back home, or if her job here was finished because we are going home. The parallels in how she joined us and when she left stand out.  And there's another part of me that says I'm grasping at things because we don't have time to grieve. Whichever it is, Mother - or whatever else it may be - she is with You. There's still a certain level of fear about our future because going h...

Is it too early to be happy? I'm honestly scared of that at this point.  Oh, but I look forward to the stairs! To having our own world on that second floor! To the new temple! I know a lot of words (large and diverse vocabulary), but even I can't think of words that truly express my gratitude!

Mother Hekate, my soul hurts. My body also hurts, but that's been normal for years. I feel like I do a lot of complaining when I write here, but I promised You I would share my vulnerability.  We're all very vulnerable right now. We're waiting to hear if our offer has been accepted. I don't know if the person we're waiting on really understands what we're offering, though. This isn't just money. We're offering our future, our survival. We're offering our trauma. It's a lot more than just money. I think of the family member - who doesn't usually say things this way - who said, "It will all work out. You guys will get the house that's right for you." The next day, in my meditation, I thought of how, if it's all going to be okay, then it actually already is okay.  Still...time is running out, and this situation has done damage to each of us in different ways. We're all scared. I learn from experience, and I'm scared of ...