Virtual Hekatesion

Glorious Mother Hekate!  Mother, I don't know when a dream carries a message. I will follow the instructions, though, and I pray it will bring what was promised.

Last night was horrible, Mother.  Horrifying.  I'm afraid of what today will be. I'm afraid of what moving forward will be. I'm afraid everything will move too fast. I'm afraid that it won't move at all. I'm afraid the healing is being undone. That I've spent years weaving myself back together, but now the threads are quickly unraveling. I'm afraid of the ones who caused it. I'm afraid of myself. I need Your help, Mother. I have to heal again. And I'm afraid of healing. I'm afraid of not healing. I'm lost, Mother. I look to You for guidance.

Mother, I offer myself to You.  I'm still learning what that means. I have never regretted making the vow. If anything, I was scared that the changes in what's happening spiritually meant You might be releasing me from the vow. If there is ever a reason that would happen, I hope that I would understand and we would be in agreement. I can say at this time, though, that I have been very serious in devoting myself to You, and I do not want to be released. Oh, but I still am learning! Offering my vulnerability to You. Trusting You to guide me. Praying honestly about things I can't be open about with anyone else. Giving these things to You when I have nothing else to give, and understanding that it's not that I'm giving You less... it's that I'm giving You myself. In my daily prayer time, I sometimes worry that I'm not focused enough, or that I'm holding onto human social expectations of giving and reward. But I know I will continue to pray no matter how ...

I briefly debated with myself whether to write this in my journal, or here. There are ways that my journal is like a book full of prayers. As time goes by, I feel I've been growing toward everything being an act of devotion. But my journal was going to be written no matter what. I keep it open to the Shining Ones, Ancestors, and Spirits, but it's not quite the same as how everything I write here is written specifically to share with You. So I decided this should be written here. Offered to You.  Mother, I think maybe the reason I've never found my "purpose" in life is because I always thought it should be one clearly defined thing. My purpose is to wander. To learn. To experience things. I've been doing it all along, thinking it would lead me to where I'm supposed to be, while I was being my Self the whole time. And I love doing that. I want many more years of learning. Truthfully, I want an eternity of it. I know that can't happen in this body, with t...

The question applies in multiple ways, Mother.  We were supposed to be making the move this weekend, but the schedule has been thrown off. And now there's fear that the seller might back out. I'm hoping, though, that she'll decide she has more to lose by backing out and it's a safer bet to give us more time. Stress and trauma are making people sick. And I know it's good, long term, that this ordeal has sparked spiritual growth for me. I am thankful for that. Right now, though, it's not all comforting. I know it's not supposed to be. In fact, that's part of how I know this will be good. But I'm confused right now. I'm thankful for Your guidance. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to follow, though. I don't know how much this will change my devotional practice. I don't know if this virtual space has reached the end of what it's been for. I need to be in our new home, setting up a new physical space. I'm lost and terrified, but I ...

Mother Hekate, I praise You! I am so thankful to have found You in Durga! Not only has this shown me a connection between You and Ganesha, I also feel it can open ways for me to understand You. I know I can never fully understand You, but I want as much as I am capable of.  Mother, I must ask for Your mercy and blessing. Things are going very wrong with it being time for the move, and we are terrified. If there have been things we didn't do right, it's been honest mistakes. The lender has not been explaining things. In some cases, my spouse has even gone beyond what should be rightly expected of them to get what has been requested. We do not have the power to make everything go right in this situation. The people who do have the power have handled it in ways that now put us at risk. Please help us, Mother. We've been working hard to get to our new home. And the woman we are buying the home from has children, and they all need the money. The people who have been mishandling ...