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Mysteries and mystery

Kleidoukhos - So many, many times I have said in my prayers that You are the Keeper of the Keys that unlock the Cosmic Mysteries. I didn't realize I was misunderstanding "Mysteries".  I used to misunderstand ancient Mystery rituals as being secrets that were kept from the uninitiated, or those who were initiates of whichever group but had not progressed far enough. I eventually came to understand that those things could be factors in who did or did not participate, but Mystery was about Truth that had to be experienced and meditated on, usually repeatedly because a change in understanding could open opportunities for new knowledge from the same information. Kind of a never stepping into the same river twice thing.  But I still misunderstood the word when praising You. Or only understood the smallest hint of it. I simply thought of it as You knowing everything in ways that would likely remain mysteries to humans, and that included things we don't even think of because ...
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Gatekeeper

Mother, I have used this before to honor You, and I do so again.  Hekate is the Gate. Hekate is the Key and the Guardian of the Gate. Past, Present, Future All are Hekate. In Lovecraft's mind, the Mythos was not the Cthulhu Mythos. It was the Yog-Sothoth Mythos. These days, fans treat Yog-Sothoth like a barely present technicality in the structure of the worldbuilding. Other Old Ones are more exciting! And they show up more in stories, so there's more information. Oh, but Mother, You know how I'm drawn to gatekeepers. Of course I noticed how that little verse of text applies to You! It is my being drawn to gatekeepers that is on my mind. I say that I am only devoted to one deity - Yourself - and that other relationships with Shining Ones are a less locked in experience. (I've been struggling with what that means about Hermes, with the way plans have changed for us moving.) But I've been wondering for a few days now...am I devoted to Ganesha? Is it something that bec...
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12 August

A multiple of 3 that reduces to 3. A new moon solar eclipse. Praise Hekate!
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The emotional load

Mother Hekate, I wanted to offer a poem to You today, but the words wouldn't flow. The intention was there, as well as effort, but there's just no tangible result. So I offer You what I carry in my heart.  I saw something a few days ago that said, "I know it is a blessing to feel everything so deeply, but wtf?" Oh, I feel that! Maybe I'm just a little bit jealous that I didn't write it myself. I'm kind of acting as mental and emotional support for the other three people for now. (I know...I never count one of them. I do not believe he belongs here, and he is not part of the group.) I don't think it's draining me (yet), but maybe it is. Maybe it's a slow drain. Or maybe I'm just being drained by everything and can't sort it out right now. Sorting things is definitely draining. It's been the physical work. Today, though, I had to sort things that had been tucked away for emotional reasons. The last card from my dad. The pictures of th...
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Unresolved Past, Again

I thought it was all of the unresolved past that's tied up in us having to leave, and why we had to come here. Then I thought it might be direction to call upon the Ancestors more, though that raised a few more questions and didn't really answer anything.  I woke up today knowing what I needed to do. It was such a Not Me thing that there's been surprise that I did it! The information I got was not what we wanted, but I've been told I did the right thing and have been very helpful. That it was needed. That I did the hard work. And in that information I got...Oh! Unresolved past! Big work that is needed! Were You warning me, Mother? Did I follow Your message?  If I have understood it properly, I thank You for Your guidance. If I have still missed the message, please lead me to clarity.
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Holding Hope

Glorious Hekate. Soul of rhe World. Unconquerable Queen. Mother. Sharing my vulnerability is even harder than I thought it would be. Worrying, second guessing myself, trying not to let the habits that have been necessary for survival for so long take over. But it is not a promise I regret making. I have no misgivings about holding to it. I'm thankful that I made this promise. I'm thankful for the safety I experience in keeping it. Often lately, I find that when I take time in the day for gratitude, I'm thankful for being devoted to You. I'm thankful for having space for devotion to You, other Shining Ones, and the Ancestors. I'm thankful for being aware of house spirits. I'm thankful for being thankful. That gratitude is so precious. I don't want to lose it in all this stress. I think setting the habit of taking that time each day will help me not lose it. I feel that I'm already becoming overstressed, and I feel what my fear is doing to me. In some ways...
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Please, Mother...

Do I sound like I'm trying to bribe You if I say I can serve You better from this place we're hoping to move to? I honestly worry about what the truth might sound like in stressful situations. And do I even really know what it is to serve You? It's not exactly a secret between us that I've worried about that for a long time. Always concerned that I'm convincing myself, but that You would have something different to say.  Then I look at it all again... How You have so many forms, and how You are the Soul of the World. How You have protected and guided me. How I have no doubts about devoting myself to You, not even when I have doubts about how I express my devotion. Do I truly believe I can serve You better in the place we want to move to? Yes, I do. It's a place where we can be safe, heal, and thrive. A place that puts me out in the woods and close to water. A place that gives me opportunities I haven't had in years, and other opportunities I've never had...
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