Power and Chosen

Glorious Hekate! My mind keeps drifting through how our relationship came to be, and wandering down trails of what I had heard before. I guess I still hear those things now, but much more rarely, and it carries no weight with me when it does happen. Eyes roll, noses snort, and there are more important things to give attention to.

But I didn't always know what I know now. There was a time when I was taking in every little bit of information and trying to keep up with finding out what was valid, invalid, and Not That Simple. The only times I heard of You then, Your name was spoken quietly because of fear, or loudly boasted about by those who wanted to stir up fear as a way of gaining unearned respect. I heard that You were powerful, dark, and one should not anger those who had declared themselves to be Your priestesses or they would call for You to punish whomever angered them!

Yes, there's a lot of ridiculousness packed into that, but also bits of truth. You are powerful. Many aspects of You have been considered "dark", though even that has something of a range of how it's understood.

Traditions focused on You, or even just including You, were more limited then than now. Even now, it often seems Your devotees are more likely to have a solitary personal practice. That makes sense. But back then, it was easy to guess that someone had declared themself your priestess (especially the ones who called themselves High Priestesses) simply because of what it meant to carry that title and the lack of paths for earning it with any relation to You. 

I don't know how being chosen works. Not really. I don't really have reason to think we all go through it the same way. It does seem, though, that trauma is a common factor in how it starts. And that trauma often seems to be something that puts one in the space between life and death, or very close to the edge of that space. I don't think all Immortal Ones who choose to take up more personal relationships with mortals go about it the same way. Maybe someone else notices the dedicated athletes, or the skilled researchers, or the gardeners who have talent for being able to grow pretty much everything native to or naturalized in their region. I have suspected for some time that You notice those of us who end up somehow being a very strange type of lost.

Back when I only heard terrifying things about You, it was also common for a lot of people dedicated and devoted to a variety of Immortal Ones to brag about their power. They often made it sound like their power was the reason they were chosen, and then more power was given just because they were already so powerful. Of course, anything that might show any of that power was very beneath them. Very much like the wizards in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. But I guess the ones who felt such a need to brag just didn't know how the power comes from being broken again and again. 

I don't see any of it as You breaking me, Mother. If anything, I'd say You've guided me through healing after it happens. But I do wonder if it was situations that were breaking me, and my ability to survive them, that got Your attention. And I'm sometimes a little concerned about why You want those of us who can survive such things. I wonder what's going to happen that You need us for. I wonder what we should be teaching each other, and what we should be making available to others who are not under Your guidance.

There are certainly a handful of Immortal Ones I can easily see taking an interest in someone simply because that person...well, interests them. Hermes, for example. But I think most Immortal Ones who choose to invite humans into relationships do so strategically. 

Ah, but it's never easy to see what You are doing unless You choose to unlock the doors and light the torches! For all I know, maybe You would choose someone just so they can know Your love. As much as I want to be able to figure things out by studying the patterns, I think I've found some peace in accepting that You will never be so simple. The abundance of mystery, and especially the mysteries woven together with the things that are clear, is part of what makes You so beautiful to me.