I worry...

More and more, as years go by, I believe my grandmother had an anxiety disorder.

I worry.

I worry that I don't pray enough. I worry that I pray too much. I worry that my work isn't good enough for the Immortal Ones.

Of course, I am not devoted to all of the Immortal Ones. In fact, while I have an agreement with Hermes and do sometimes honor others, I am only truly devoted to You. I suppose one of the effects of many people leaving Chritianity and moving into modern Paganism that has been merged with the New Age movement is that a lot of people don't understand how that works. I didn't always.

And then I worry that I'm not giving enough of my attention to You, even though You are part of so much that I do. Even anything I do with other Immortal Ones comes from my devotion to You. And You haven't sent any messages that I'm straying too far. You have always given me room to figure things out for myself unless I am in need of Your guidance.

I just worry.

I'm not pulling out, but going with my promise to be more open and vulnerable is even harder than I thought it would be. I didn't realize it would give me more to worry about. But I know that You knew that, and I trust You. Even when I'm confused and full of doubt about myself, I trust You.

So, yes, I worry. I also continue.