His Birthday

Mother, please tell him I love him. That I will love him through all the forevers. 

I want to ask You to tell him I miss him, but... I don't know. I know I miss him. I don't know if I want him to know. I don't want to give him pain. Age gave him pain. I want him to be happy and free forever. Or maybe he's serving You. For him, I guess that would be a different form of happy and free. 

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. And sometimes it seems like even the air won't fill that space. I'm scared to love like that again, and also scared there could never be love like that again.

But I just want joy and love for him. The song he most responded to when I played on the stringed instruments...I play it now on the piano. For him.

Please, Mother, give him love.

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