And now I know...

Mother, I don't know what to do right now. That sounds like a crisis. Maybe it is. Maybe it's not. What I really mean is that part of me says I should wait until I've had some time to process what I've learned before I talk to You, but another part of me says I should start now so that I don't leave You out of any part of it. I don't know which of those is the right choice, but I think staying quiet if I wasn't supposed to could do more harm. 

We have to leave. It will make sense if part of me starts looking at things like we won't be at this crossroads anymore, but I'm not sure that I'd take myself seriously. There's an option we're looking at that would be worth whatever we lose. And if we're losing something here, we're going to lose it anyway. Staying isn't an option.

The option we're looking at... We don't know for sure yet that it's doable, but we want it to be. There are things it would heal for all of us. For myself, it would mean going back to the land that became home after I had to leave my first home. It would put me right next to important water. I can't help but think how important that could be for knowing You as Einalia, and knowing Sobek. It would be a better place for everyone in this house than where we've been for the past few years.

I'm scared to be excited about it. I already don't want to have this option taken away. I know this house has loved having us here, but we have no control over having to leave. Since we have to go, I at least want the option we're looking at to work for us. 

And Hermes... I told You I've missed him. If he wants to keep our agreement, we need to update it. The old agreement was only about us being here. I am currently open for discussing a new agreement.

I'm scared. I think we all are. I know at least two of us are. I want this to be healing. I want this to be better. I'm scared. I trust Your guidance, Mother, even if I'm still scared.