Virtual Hekatesion

I burn the prayers and hope You hear.  Living at the crossroads  amplifies.  I'm scared.  I'm joyful.  Protect me. 

Mother...  Khaire Hekate! Mistress of the Three Realms, Keeper of the Keys, Soul of the World! You are most honored among the Immortal Ones, and I am blessed in Your presence! Glorious Hekate - Ourania, Khthonia, Einalia - gladden my heart as I devote myself to You. Guide and protect me always on my journey. From the Stars to the Grave, and All that is Between. Mother, days with so much physical pain are emotionally difficult for me. I feel like I would be pushing myself too hard to go to the temple, and I wouldn't be able to do my regular duties. Part of me says, "So, don't do it. You will not be punished for taking proper care of yourself." Another part of me feels bad about it, but not really because of fear of punishment. (Admittedly, I'm still in a very early, unstable part of building a relationship with the Great Crocodile, but I don't think truly needing to take care of myself would be held against me.) I just love the time in the temple! I love having...

I think about Your epithet "Worker from Afar" at times, Mother. There are some that are very clear in meaning, but this is not one of them.  Is it because You traveled to the Hellenic nations from other lands? Is it a mistranslation - a guess at something that wasn't truly understood? Is it a result of a group primarily recognizing You as dwelling in the Underworld, while also recognizing that You are active in other ways? Is it a reference to Your solitude? A reference to Your Crossroads? I think of it along with Anima Mundi, and my own experiences with Your guidance. Being the Soul of the World would mean You are part of everything. So we don't always see You because You don't swoop in and radically change things in very obvious ways. You are already here, and can make subtle shifts that do radically alter the results, but not in flashy ways that everyone can see. And that can seem at times like You are distant and not directly involved, because humans do not ex...

Thank You, Mother, for hearing me and blessing me with Your kindness! And thank You for the bee. I'm not completely clear on which direction this is headed in, but I did enough research to see where some of my first ideas were mistaken, but others led me deeper.  Truthfully, I suspect Hermes has more to do with the bee, but that does not mean I shouldn't also thank You. So much of how my understanding and connections have grown goes back to You as the source. I believe that, in many ways, most of what we experience gies back to You. How I understand "Anima Mundi" has grown over the years. I will give thanks to Others when I'm in the temple again, but I wanted to offer my thanks to You here first.

This is a virtual space. I chose it for being a liminal space. Here, yet not here. Changes can be made to this space, but I do not edit my prayers. The fact that I have prayed stands, no matter what may or may not change.  But I recognize I have been limiting myself in my prayer, Mother. One of the things I have thanked Your for Your guidance in is my working to be more open and vulnerable with You. Working to get past limiting things to formal praise. There is much to be praised about You! I would say, and have said, that Your very existence is worthy of praise! But I'm not really honest about who I am when that's all I give. I've been back in that state in which I feel guilty if I think I'm complaining too often. I probably wouldn't tell You how the bully hurts me if things weren't at that really awful point again. If I didn't feel like she's breaking me. And I recognize that having to have things be at that point before I tell You means I'm holdin...

I keep working the bottle, but I need Your help with this, Mother.  Take away her lack of care for the needs of others. Take away her addiction. Take away her cruelty. Take away her avoidance of responsibility. Take away her manipulation. Take away the things she uses to harm others. But don't just take them away and leave nothing. Replace them with understanding of her actions and commitment to do better. Replace them with learning to love herself. To truly love herself! Not just what she claims. I want to say I can't continue with this pain and torment, but I know I actually could. My ability to survive is legendary. But we all deserve better. Even her. And as the cruelty has come from her, the "better" must come through her. Learning will hurt her, but she brought that on herself. And it isn't the pointless pain if she learns from it.