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Khaire Glorious Hekate!

Mother, I know no other appropriate way to open this than simply to praise You. You are the Soul of the World, the Torchbearer, the Keeper of Keys, Lady of Storms, Empress of the Dark Waters...so many other names, other roles, other domains. No matter what fear I may carry because of what is happening in mortal life, praising You is always appropriate! You know how difficult things have been, are, and are likely to be. Thank You for giving me a place to visit You at the beach. Thank You for giving me the honor of serving You as a priest. Thank You for guiding me toward work that brings me so much joy - publishing my first book, as one thing! - while so much is going on that very likely would have held me back on my own. You know what is happening in the world. You know well before we humans do. You know how it has been building. You know the many factors, the paths that have been taken, the long histories. Mother, I don't know why we humans keep doing all the horrible things. It...

Spells and Prayers

When I was a child, Yhvh was spoken of as God. As if they were the only one. In fact, that's what we were taught. There was only one, and people who knew them as Yhvh didn't know "the one true " god. And prayer was about surrender. As much as we were encouraged to "pour out your heart in prayer", there was a subtle underlining of implication that the only passionate emotion that was actually acceptable was adoration. Doubt, anger, jealousy - even confusion - would just get in the way of calm and faithful surrender. When I was a little older (an adult, but still a child in so many ways when I look back), I was told that spells were like prayer for witchcraft. There was a lot of people dedicating themselves to a deity, but also saying the big difference between spells and prayer was that you don't need a deity to answer your prayer when it's a spell. That a spell was a prayer that you took care of for yourself. And yet...well, there was also a lot of c...

Glorious Hekate

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The message I received wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I know it was Truth. Thank You, Mother, for Your guidance. 

At the Gate

Glorious Mother Hekate! I praise You whether I understand You or not! That may not be a traditional praise (or maybe it is, since I don't know all of how You've been praised across the ages) but it is a sincere one. We've come around to the endings of multiple cycles, which also means the beginnings of multiple cycles. Cycles of this deeply personal experience that led me to You. Cycles of trauma and healing. In this time - this year, these few weeks, this coming month, these next few days - it feels like I'm standing at a Gate. I remind myself that You hold the Keys. I remind myself that You bless me with access to the Keys I need. I remind myself that I hold the Keys. One of those strange things that I see is how H.P. Lovecraft could have written some of his words about You. All it takes is a change of a Name. Hekate knows the Gate. Hekate IS the Gate. Hekate is the Key and Guardian of the Gate. Past. Present. Future. All are One in Hekate. It took a little more than ...

Strange Gratitude

It isn't easy to be thankful when I'm wrong. I put my trust in someone I shouldn't have, and I never questioned it. Three times, I could not perform the ritual to protect them from the accusations. I believe the accusations were wrong. It's not that simple. Three times, I thought I was failing. But no... I have developed relationships with entities who will stop me from making a mistake and protecting the wrong person from the wrong thing. And that is what I am grateful for. I give thanks to You, Mother! Even if it wasn't You who stopped me - and I did not recognize Your presence, else I would not have doubted myself - it is You who guides me in building these relationships. And I give thanks to whomever stopped me! I give thanks just for even having these relationships! I wish I had not been wrong. I am thankful that I am the kind of person who is worth this intervention.

Offering myself

Mother Hekate, I seek to give You all of myself...yet I still hold back. Is this why You sent me to Hermes? Did You know I would learn more about this in experiences with him? Is it those experiences, or what this year is to me, or a mix? I'm not truly looking for answers to those questions right now. They  just wander through my mind. I give You duty as an expression of devotion. My devotion comes from love, and gratitude, and awe. But is my love complete if I cannot give all of myself to You? I hold back my fear, misery, and doubt. And I recognize the doubt is part of the fear. I first felt Your call when I was being consumed by fear and misery. You saved me in a way the religion of my childhood promised salvation, but I had long ago given up any hope that it existed for me. I've gone through breaking things down and examining them many times, testing and analyzing to make sure I'm not just painting a Pagan cover onto that religion. I was at a point where I had decided de...

Bones and Breathing

Glorious Mother Hekate, I return to You when the path takes me away, and Your torches always guide me! There are so many things I simply cannot put into words lately, even as I feel called to this virtual temple. But You know those things. You know what it is I can't find words for better than I do. Maybe You know I will never find words because these things transcend anything that words would form boundaries for. But You know me, Mother...I'll keep searching for the words. My return to listening to the bones has revealed some interesting things to me about my relationship with Spring. I still wonder why I relate Spring with so many things often seen as the symbolism of Winter. I think it may be a result of trauma. It didn't always work this way for me. Clearly, I have more work to do with the bones. More work, more work...so much to do, yet I feel I should be doing less. I'm thinking of taking up the practice of shikantaza again. It's been years. I've already r...